Wednesday, November 26, 2008
So I made a list this year. It's silly, not very profound, I confess, but it is true. These are not in any particular order; it's taken directly from my addled brain, where thinking of one thing will present other things that I am grateful for. Frankly, I could have probably filled the back of the list page too in tiny print. :)
I'm also grateful for press. We (the ORS) got a very nice article in the Portland Tribune last Thursday for the Winter Ball. Awesome.
I'm also grateful for a four day weekend. SWEEEEET!!!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. May your tryptophan-induced stupors be blissful.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Oh, joy, it's Friday. It's been a tough past week. I've been struggling with a cold and sinus infection since last week, and I had to function on a normal level with work, and also to be focused and somewhat coherent for the Oregon Regency Society annual Winter Ball. I expected to rest up a bit on Sunday, but unfortunately, my shop-a-holic sister had other ideas, starting by waking me up early for eggs benedict at the ZigZag Inn.
But somehow, I got through the week. Thanks to Dr. Grise and his kind Rx for a nice six-day antibiotic treatment that has made my painful throat and sinus calm down significantly. I made it! Yay! It's been a looooong week. I've been looking to Friday since Sunday night. ::teehee:: It's time to recoup.
I plan to sleep like I've taken up hibernation as a hobby. I plan to make lots of tea, to sew a bit, but if not, that's okay. I plan to find a good movie on DVD and watch it, or maybe just turn it to Sci-Fi Channel's "Really Bad B-Movie Saturday" all day, and watch bad actors feign terror at badly made distasters and randomly contrived monsters. I plan to speak to my husband and to tell him I miss him at least five times. I plan to give myself a foot-spa treatment, and to do a mask on my face. Yes. I will enjoy the peace and quiet before the sister returns to drive me insane. I will snuggle my dogs prolifically. I plan to wear pajamas all day, every day, and only put shoes on to walk to dogs. I will put my hair in two braids and not bother with it. I plan to make lots of comfort food. I plan to play some games online, and maybe even write a bit. And if all I do is sleep, eat and putter around, big deal. It's my weekend. I've earned it, darnit.
Happy Friday all.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
So I just can't bring myself to feel bad for speaking my mind. I am only sad that I put my husband in an uncomfortable position.
I am like that though. As a mean, I'm an affable, kind, loving person. I seem like a sweet powder-puff on the most part; but I learned the hard way that it's important to be honest with you sentiments, and it's important to never allow anyone to take away your power by keeping your mouth shut. It's just not worth it. No relationship on this earth is worth swallowing anger, or keeping festering resentment like that. And you push this powder-puff enough, and you hurt or threaten the people this powder-puff loves enough, and I just stop caring about sparing feelings and saving relationships that are not beneficial... and then it all comes out. The Beast is set loose, and my words usually at this point have been stewing and fermenting for a while... aquiring a little sting and some acidity. They spew out in a cascade of the past five year's worth of resentments, and voila. It's out on the table. This is how I really feel. While I've been smiling at you, I've been biting my tongue. And when the Beast comes out, it's usually not a salvagable situation. Usually when the Beast speaks, relationships end.
I was unbelievably harsh, yes. But there wasn't a single thing I said that wasn't 100% honest or truthful in what I expressed. Whether or not it fell on deaf ears at this point, is irrelevant. I don't expect anyone is mature enough to stop, look at what I expressed, and come to some ephipany that will lead to great change or improvement in relationships, or honesty in communication. People aren't like that. When faced with hard truths, people usually choose to return with a counterattack, and to justify themselves, and to shut it down so no effort is further required on their part. It's easier that way.
Well. It's all out. People are up in arms and angry. They don't want to speak to me anymore. I do not feel too terrible about that for some reason. In fact, I feel like I've just removed about 550 lbs of dead-weight off my mind. I'm glad they know where I stand. If their silence is the price, oh well.
In the end there's only one person who matters to me. That's my husband. The people who seek to interfere are peripheral and unimportant. He doesn't usually voice his anger and his frustrations. I have less to lose, so I have no qualms doing so. Maybe, at least for him, it will have a positive effect someday.
So Evil Stephanie strikes again. ::sigh:: C'est la vie.
I think a fat cat is in order. Fat cats are always good to lighten a situation.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Lord and Master of the estates of La Forêt, Lord Leon is an imposing presence; the pinnacle of a family line that has graced nobility for generations, and the proud cut of his profile is evidence of his refined breeding.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Stolen from "Posie Gets Cozy", one of my favourite blogs; a one-word answer Meme.
- Where is your mobile phone? Here.
- Where is your significant other? Errands.
- Your hair colour? Natural.
- Your mother? Satan.
- Your father? Fragile.
- Your favourite thing? Creativity.
- Your dream last night? ::shrug::
- Your dream goal? Entrepreneur.
- The room you're in? Office.
- Your hobby? Sewing.
- Your fear? Desolation.
- Where do you want to be in 6 years? Comfortable.
- Where were you last night? Home.
- What you're not? Polyanna.
- One of your wish-list items? Funding.
- Where you grew up? Brabant.
- The last thing you did? Sneeze.
- What are you wearing? Clothes.
- Your TV? Escape.
- Your pets? Manipulators.
- Your computer? Drug.
- Your mood? Ambivalent.
- Missing someone? Wednesday.
- Your car? Stompy.
- Something you're not wearing? Makeup.
- Favourite shop? Ikea
- Your summer? Sweltering.
- Love someone? Irrevocably.
- Your favourite colour? Lavender.
- When is the last time you laughed? Always.
- When is the last time you cried? Yesterday.
It's been about four days that Husband is home, he leaves Wednesday. My heart is growing heavier with each passing moment. It's been a strange weekend. I took Friday off to spend with him, and the whole weekend just zoomed by. Now I'm at work during the day and he's at home doing his thing. It's hard not to allow my sadness pervade the time we're together. I find myself clinging to him and tears starting to form in my eyes. This is very hard. I don't know how military wives to it; if I get this emotional just for a six-week span, where he's not in immediate danger, where he's still inside our borders... I can't imagine how the army wives can do it. Okay, so most of them have children to focus on, but it is still beyond me. I feel like such a whiner. This is very difficult. I let the dread of the goodbye build up, I blubber like a fool as I send him off, and then I feel numb for days.
I comfort myself in knowing he's working for a good company, and doing something good for the world. He's helping Vestas to build wind turbines.
I'm thinking about selling some of my image originals. I figure since most of them are scanned and available for prints if need be, I might just unload the originals of the 'office specials' I create periodically. I'm curious to see if they sell at all. Maybe I'll frame them up really cute. We'll see.
The ORS Regency Ball is one short week away ::panic:: I haven't even made my ballgown yet. I have the headpiece and the shoes done, but that's it. I may have to go in my Regency skivvies. ::tee hee:: Oh boy. We'll see what happens. :)
An update, and maybe something whimsical soon. I also owe you another installment of The Tredwell Secret. I haven't forgotten.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Our roof, it seems, has become home to a few creatures that keep my dogs up all night with their skittering and scratching in the bay window above our heads. A few weeks ago, I discovered the space where they’re possibly getting in—a large gap in the siding under the soffit of our bedroom bay window. Before, I noticed a smaller crack up in the very high eave on the other side of the house, where Batty McBat and the Clan McBat have apparently set up home. I’m okay with bats, more bats, fewer insects… And it’s neat in the summertime, when it’s dusk and you start to see them come out, and you can hear them squeaking just barely within my hearing range. Very cool. They are usually quiet residents, that are largely beneficial (I won’t think about the guano up in the roof space…) however Mr. and Mrs. Squirrel McDouglas, and I’m thinking perhaps many little McDouglases, having fattened up on our plentitude of peanuts and seed and corn through the spring and summer, have gladly taken up residence in the thick bed of cozy insulation; and they are not exactly ideal tenants--especially when every ten minutes, my dogs jerk their heads up and growl at the ceiling all through the night. The only reason I’m getting any sleep at all is because I sleep with earplugs.
I’m concerned about how to evict them. I suppose I’ll have to discuss it with husband when he returns on Thursday (yay yay yay yay!!!). I don’t want to kill or hurt the little guys, but I don’t want them in there, or causing by their presence, other creatures (such as skunks or raccoons) to feel compelled to make it a multiple species unit. Oh no.
I sincerely want to go a full night without hearing the telltale tap-dance of my furry tenants over my head, and then suffering through the unavoidable successions of bristling of canine hackles, growling, staring at empty ceilings, keyed-up alertness and lots of jumping on and off of the bed to investigate possible other noises. Simon and Flower have told me in none-so-many words (mostly in half-growls and barks) that they would be glad to rid me of the squatters, all I need to do is lift them up into the attic-space and let them solve the problem for me. I told them that involving them in the eviction would cause too much of a disturbance for the other upside-down suspended tenants and that it’s not my ideal solution. They do not agree—and they remain most keen on every little noise the McDouglases make.
Hopefully my husband will have ideas for less violent solutions. I hope so, anyway. I foresee a winter of much coming and going for midnight snacks. Oddly, Douglas squirrels are not nocturnal. So then do I have to worry that this is not the McDouglas family up there, but instead the LePew family? Oh the horror.
Be sure to vote today.