It’s time for 'moral' Christians to take a good, long look in the mirror.

The prism of morality:

Morality. That word though. So nebulous and malleable—a favourite of American Christians, in describing what they have that non-believers simply cannot. A moral guideline. You see, according to many prominent and vocal Christians, to be an atheist is to be morally deficient. For who can be good without moral guidelines such as the bible to go from?

The first thing an Atheist will say, which is a great question, is—are the ‘moral guidelines’ of your bible the only things keeping you from being a bad person? Is it the ink on the biblical pages the only thing that stops you from raping and pillaging and murdering willy-nilly? Most atheists agree, that if that is the case, you are a morally questionable person—and you don’t get to preach to anyone about morality.

You see, Christianity, or religion as a whole, does not own morality. Furthermore, morality is, going by the bible (and sometimes other religious texts), questionable. Let’s face it, the bible and its various kin are anything but bastions of morality. The bible alone suggests that while to kill is a mortal sin that it’s okay to sacrifice your children; and throughout the holy books, murder and sacrifice are rampant. The bible will tell you that being an adulterer is forbidden, that it is acceptable for the characters of the many biblical allegories, to marry as many wives as needed, to rape indiscriminately, to marry and lie with children, or to sleep with siblings’ wives and husbands are okay. The bible is filled with morally reprehensible acts, and the foundations of these stories are supposed to be the moral guidelines that Christians live by.

God, is anything but infallible on morality. I mean, to start with, the all-knowing, all-seeing word of god is so set in stone, that he had to revise his words in the New Testament—so exactly how reliable is the dogma if that’s the case? Books riddled with contradictions, which are meant to represent the word of an infallible god? Not exactly something to live by. Unless you pick and choose whatever sounds suitable to your narrative from the book. So if morality can be picked, and chosen, it is really morality? And more so, if your moral guideline is made up of carefully selected tenets, is it really a reliable guideline?

What does this all mean for the countless civilizations that existed without Christianity? And who somehow muddled through the centuries surviving, living wholesome lives, coexisting in communities with other people, raising children, building towns and cities, and doing so utterly bankrupt of Christian morality? Does the existence of Christianity negate all this history? Did morality not exist before Christ was ostensibly born and spent his short, hippie life preaching love and peace? Life did not begin when Christianity was born, and it will not end when Christianity does.

Morality has some very basic aspects that pretty much every civilization understands—with or without the imposition of some kind of overarching religious dogma to reinforce it. Pretty much anyone in the world is born with empathy. Pretty much everyone in the world, regardless of religion, knows to murder is wrong. Pretty much everyone in the world enters it with a desire to be thoughtful and kind to others. It is the programming of the immediate environment that fine-tunes how a child will grow up. And the society in which you are raised will determine, ultimately, who you are going to be. Children have shown, again and again, that acceptance and kindness is just part of their natural spirit. It is often the families themselves that teach that child whether to be accepting or not to; it is the family themselves that teach a child that it’s okay to hate. And it is the how those families choose to act and believe that will shape their prejudices. Whatever society and religious background you end up in, you may likely reflect whatever those norms are. Morality, at least the very foundation of morality; is inherent. Whatever else is placed upon you by your upbringing. And what one people think is moral, might be repugnant to another. Morality is mostly relative.

An extremist always believes he or she is the pinnacle of morality. Those ISIS guys, they’re not going around telling themselves that what they are doing is amoral. They believe that they are representing the purest of moralities when they murder and destroy. When Christian extremists attack or protest, they believe they are the defenders of moral behaviour, and they are showing the rest of the world that this is how one should be.

Most atheists are humanists. If you don’t know what a humanist is, let me define it for you (per google): Humanism is a philosophical and ethical stance that emphasizes the value and agency of human beings, individually and collectively, and generally prefers critical thinking and evidence (rationalism and empiricism) over acceptance of dogma or superstition.

Most human beings of their own agency, are moral. Most human beings don’t kill one another. They don’t harm, they don’t steal. Most human beings of their own agency are kind. They share. They heal. They provide. They soothe. They show empathy. There are infinite numbers of people who are these things without once ever being told to by a religious doctrine.

Atheists are in no way different. In fact, Atheists are often willfully empathetic, and kind, and accepting because that is the way they choose to be. Choosing not to take part in a collective delusion does not in any way affect how they are as moral beings. In fact, they are less likely to be amoral, because they do not have any overarching guideline that tells them they should be. They don’t have views that make them ‘moral extremists’, as let’s say, ISIS, or the Evangelical Christians, or the KKK.  Westboro Baptist Church and its mentally deranged acolytes truly believe they are morally superior when they protest a veteran’s funeral with hateful signs and threats of fire and brimstone. Atheism does not seek to impugn anyone for not sharing their version of morality. Atheism does not threaten hell or damnation for those who don’t align their beliefs with theirs.

The moral high ground: Who’s got it?

Well, sad to say, it isn’t Christians. Especially these days. Historically, Christianity has shown itself to be anything but moral. From the serial, almost systemic abuse of children in the churches, to the consistent oppression and belittling of the women in its ranks, Christianity seems to be better suited to demonstrate amorality than anything else.

Presently, Christianity has become almost willfully and malevolently amoral. As it has attached itself to the right-wing political movement, Christianity has twisted into something even more despicable and horrible than it ever was. Promoting and supporting self-centric behaviour, supporting the idea that every person should have the right to be police, judge, jury and executioner in their promotion of firearm ownership, in the endorsement of things like the death penalty, in the cutting of resources for the poor, the old, the infirm and the ill. And it doesn’t stop there. Christians overwhelmingly voted for Donald Trump, and various congressmen and women who have made some terrible moral choice, and continue to stand by them. Trump’s offenses are almost too many to count. Offenses, that if imposed by any other person centered on the political spectrum, would have been tarred and feathered for. Roy Moore, a man who serially abused teenaged girls, received an outpouring of support from the Christians in the nation—and he too stood for the idea of Christian morality, while trying to excuse away his molestation of children. Yet these people, like Kim Davis, are morally corrupt by every definition, even by the ill-defined tenets of the bible, still have the stones to stand up and preach morality to people in books and speeches, as if they are somehow ordained to do so, in spite of being some of the most morally questionable people on earth.

Christians are besieged by their own hypocrisy. And that is a problem. Hypocrites don’t get to dictate how other people should behave if they themselves cannot abide by their moral beliefs. It has become almost painfully evident just how hypocritical Christianity is, since it became synonymous with politics. Christianity’s stance on abortion would probably be more impactful if the larger part of women seeking abortions weren’t Christian, or if the churches would do more to fight on behalf of the millions of unwanted, unsupported children in the world. Christianity’s rigid views on homosexuality would probably have more footing if pastors and priests weren’t consistently hiding homosexual activities. Christians would be better respected, if they took a hard stance on the pederasty that is endemic in the churches, and didn’t fight so hard to hide the problem rather than confront and stop it. Christian women would probably be taken more seriously, if they didn’t stand for their own subjugation and oppression. Christians would benefit from re-examining its condemnation of adultery when adultery and divorce were not part and parcel of the Christian community. Christian charity would be more valued if it didn’t always come with a side of indoctrination. Kindness should not come with conditions.

Many Christians will argue that no Christian is perfect, and that is part of their spiritual journey. But the response to that is simple: We don’t expect perfection. What we do expect is that a person who claims moral superiority as a Christian, to actually BE a Christian as they claim. To abide by those moral guidelines they set for themselves, and cherry-picked from the bible, and to stop twisting their moral guide to suit whatever madness they choose to pursue.

So who has the moral high ground? What we do know, it’s not Christianity. It’s not Islam. It’s not Judaism. All belief systems are morally questionable. Atheism, as it is not a belief system, simply makes conclusions on what’s there. Atheists seek only to trust their own agency in what is good and what is bad. And atheists seem to be doing a good job of it. Does that mean atheists have the moral high ground? Who knows? What I do know is that atheism has no ulterior motives. The only thing most atheists want is to have a reasonable, rational world where what’s best for humanity is taken into consideration first—where the quality of life takes precedence over some idealized idea of the afterlife. Where we take care of other human beings and always seek progress as a species so that we can achieve greater things. Atheism does not want to hinder progress, to stifle man’s potential, to cure, to build, to forge paths into the future, to educate, to enlighten, and to learn. Religion has, historically, always stood in the way of these things, for whatever reason.

Atheists are reviled for one reason alone: theists are filled with doubt. The only thing that reinforces their beliefs is to be surrounded by others who support that belief. Atheists stand to dismantle that comfortable delusion with pragmatism, and that is dangerous and threatening to a theist. It fills them with fear because it would force them to understand the world in a completely different way. That is why atheists are accused of being amoral. Because there is nothing scarier than someone who punches through the overarching dogma to see the world for face value, and not for the fantasy created by religion, and who functions with kindness, empathy, and acceptance without being told they must or how to.

Religion is not morality. It’s narcissism.

How self-centered does a person have to be to believe that god is watching over them and not others? The other day, I was in a discussion with a woman who told me with no small amount of gushing alacrity, that Jesus was with her. Through her trials and tribulations, through a crisis with her son, that took her to California and back, “Jesus was with me. All the way,” she effused with her hands clasped. “He was with me in the car driving down to California. He changed the radio stations as I went along, in a way to inspire me,” she declared (never mind that she might be shifting from one broadcast signal area to another… c’mon). I sat there, watching her rapturous exclamations, and thought to myself: What about those Christians that were made to kneel on the edge of a large pit by extremist Muslims, shot in the head and buried in it? Or the children being murdered and raped and dying of disease all over the world? What about them? Jesus cared about what radio station you listen to, but who the hell cares about the innocents being slaughtered? Would god only look after certain Christians? Different denominations? Or is the the Mormons who have it right? Which one? Yours, naturally.

It is an exercise in narcissism to be religious. To believe that a god loves you more. Who cares about where you left your car keys, but who lets entire cities be destroyed. Prayer is just a way of turning any issue into something about you. And religion lets you believe that all of this is a moral way to behave. To be so selfish. To be so absorbed in yourself and your journey to the afterlife living in the clouds playing softball with the apostles.

Selfishness is not moral. Even in its act of kindness, there’s self-serving motives when it comes to a church. As I said before, religious charity comes with indoctrination. In the end, religious people don’t have the monopoly on morality. Maybe they do on self-absorption and indignant righteousness, and on pointing fingers and attacking and threatening people who don’t align with their beliefs. But they sure as hell don’t own morality by any means.

So my suggestion to all Christians, before you start condemning others for amoral behaviour and attacking people for not sharing your beliefs; look in the mirror before you open your mouths. Look at what's scowling back at you. And learn to accept that it's ugly, or learn to be your own agent of morality, and rise above your dogma to be a better person.

A real post for a change but still with 365s

I’m not going to minced words—I’ve been struggling with keeping my eyes and nose above the water level this past year. I hate that I now sound like one of those people who annoyed me to no end talking about their medical issues; “Oh, my sciatica is just killing me these days….” And “The migraines are just incapacitating…”

I’ve developed a bit of a soul over the past having been humbled by the development of my own medical issues. The anxiety has become a part of my life I can no longer ignore and it has made my already hermity and anti-social nature even worse. I’m on medication, naturally, it’s now a regular part of my routine. It has helped normalize me as far as it can. But it does not stop the insomnia, the constant self-censure, the insecurity, the sense of helplessness and it has made my RLS so bad at night that sometimes I cannot sleep at all because my legs feel like they want to run off the bed. Anxiety sucks balls. I have been working to be better; forcing myself out of the house, and all those things. I’m getting better, but it’s up and down.

I have little to no interest in the regency stuff right now. I love being around my ‘peeps’ when I’m with them, but revving up my motivation to even participate is so hard. I try. I go to things, but honestly, most of the time I just don’t want to. I hope that passion comes back. It was awesome and I miss it. I am also pushing myself to finish my newest book and get it to the editing process. It’s easier to focus on that because it’s part of being creative and I’ve been missing that very much since Alex was born. I think the inability to use the creative outlets I have has probably contributed to my anxiety and depression issues. I have been ruminating on how little I’ve posted on my blog these past months besides my 365s. I’m amazed I’ve kept up with them as long as I have. I think I might make the full year! I confess the weeks after my trip to Florida, I did flag a bit, but I was overcome with a hideous case of giardia (NEVER.AGAIN.OMG), and I wasn’t in any shape to do anything, so a few photos were taken on the same day or many over a few days to catch up. Some are also out of sequence.

In the meantime, I decided I need to write something serious. I’m not quite back to my snarky self yet, she’s coming, I’m sure, but since I do go just about everywhere in this blog, I figured my next rant will fit right in. My rant is about the state of the world right now. About terrorism and refugees. It’s about the privilege of being a detached and indifferent American. Privilege comes in many forms. In the United States, especially. And there is an additional privilege that I think (and this is my own conjecture alone) is part of the reason why Americans are so quick to jump into war.

You see, the USA has enjoyed a charmed existence compared to Europe and other parts of the world; at least when it comes to war. That doesn’t mean I’m in any way diminishing the losses from either world wars, the Korean war, Vietnam etc. What I mean is that the USA has frequently found itself sending its sons and daughters overseas to fight on foreign soil, but with the exception of Pearl Harbour, the USA has seen little to no really intense war action on its own soil -- since the civil war.

Why this is relevant is because, for example, in Europe, especially the UK, France etc, there is a very fresh, short memory of the last war that ravaged the countryside. World War I and World War II were devastating. Landmarks decimated, millions killed and injured, cities bombarded continuously. The US arrived late into both of these fracases, and they sustained comparably fewer losses than most of the world-war countries. It took the direct engagement of American interests to even get them fully involved.

But war is profitable, and the US has since been at war almost continuously ever since; but American civilians have never experienced a blitz in their back yards. They aren’t still digging up live ordnance from the soil. They don’t have graveyards upon graveyards laid out like a quilt of nations, filled with the bodies of the dead taken down in their towns and villages.

The atrocities of war are a real thing for most of Europe still, and for many countries, they are a thing people are living with every day. And it’s our privilege as Americans to dismiss this because we don’t have any recent experience that can help us empathize and relate to what other people might be enduring. We have become a nation of insensitive fools because of it.’

9/11 only took 3000 lives, and yet it hit such a raw nerve, the country went into a collective state of shock, and turned to fear and xenophobia instead of defiance; as the countries who understand conflict directly do. We sent out our sons and daughters to fight on our behalf on the soil of countries not even related to the acts performed on that day, but somehow it soothed our collective fears to know someone was dying for what happened to us.

Imagine, if you will, how the US would react if it was pummeled like France or Britain in WWII. Imagine what real conflict would be like. Most Americans cannot. Their lawns remained meticulously pruned and their daily lives were largely unaffected by the succession of wars since the Civil War. The loss of their sons was a sufficient price to pay for this peace; while their children wreaked havoc on foreign soil on behalf of our government. We are attacked and we send a couple of massive thermo-nuclear devices and watch it from afar. We have grown arrogant and cocky because of this. We believe ourselves untouchable; while realizing deep down that we aren't, and feeling the fear of that bubbling up.

The Syrian refugees are fleeing violence that most American people cannot even begin to relate to. They don’t want to. They’ve never had their homes mortared. Their grandparents haven’t sat with them to recount how their homes were taken over by invading forces, and how certain people were taken away for their beliefs and killed in massive death camps. Americans were rationing stockings. That was the hardship the home-front suffered—while the eastern hemisphere literally burned.

So privilege it is. Even if we lost sons for the sense of near arrogance; the lack of humility and the zest for confrontation, as long as it’s not on American soil.

The attacks in Paris only made France more defiant. There is an element of fear, don’t get me wrong, but the predominant response in the country is FUCK YOU TERRORISTS you are not going to change our way of life. In the US, the mere whisper of terrorism means shouts to close borders and to turn away refugees; it means brown people being persecuted for being brown, and people buying more guns and bigger cars. The privilege of fear.

It’s upsetting to me how the USA has turned from a country of greatness and goodness to one of fear and paranoia. I can see where it happened, and where it continues to happen, and as long as we foster this culture of fear, we have allowed the terrorists (note how 'terror’ is part of this word)  to achieve their ends. A small faction of extremists, having such a powerful effect that it stuns an entire nation into fear… crazy isn’t it?  Americans merely wash the muslims with a sweeping generalized term of terrorists, and imagine millions of brown skinned people hoping to destroy the west—instead of even opening their ears to the fact that ISIS is about the same threat as the next five or six mass shooters that have attempted to enact their own terror in this country, but somehow not instilled that same level of fear.

Here is what’s true: You are more likely to be shot by a police officer than you are being harmed by a muslim extremist.  You are WAY more likely to be shot by your OWN gun in your OWN home (or someone in your household) than you are being harmed by a muslim extremist. That is just the truth. And fearing the Syrian refugees… well, that’s like fearing meteors falling on your head. With the intensive vetting process, no self-respecting extremist would bother. It’s easier to just hop on a plane and come as a tourist. And heck, it’s easy enough for them to get a gun here, so there you go.

You can crow until the cows come home about your security but you don’t know what being in danger is. Not compared to the Syrians. Even the French can claim the privilege of far better security than that of the truly afflicted nations like Syria and Lebanon.

And finally, a salient point here... We built this. As much as many Americans like to avoid responsibility for the consequences of our global actions, we have to face it; as a nation we have a duty to start fixing the disasters our policies and war mongering have caused. And if that means finding ways to support the hundreds of thousands of people fleeing their war-torn homes, then that is what we should do. If we risk a terrorist event in our country doing it, then so be it. Honestly, it’s not like we don’t already have our own home-grown terrorists who do much greater damage. Between the mass shootings and the church burnings and all the other crap going on, why are we focusing on ISIS? Is it that we fear that they will bring war to our back yards? Imagine that.

This is my next set of 365s for you. Enjoy.

301/365

302/365

303/365

304/365

305/365 - I got this cat in 1984 for my birthday.
He's one of the few things I have from my
childhood. Alex is giving this old dude
a run for his money.

306/365 - I took this pic with my husband's phone. It's Halloween.

307/365

308/365

309/365

310/365

311/365

312/365

313/365

314/365 

315/365 - Happy third birthday baby boy,

316/365

317/365

318/365

319/365

320/365

Project 365 - Days 241-260 VOTE FOR BERNIE!

It's been a strange few weeks. I've been so taken up in planning for September's two shows (Passion in Portland and the Rose City Comic Con) that I haven't had much time for anything else. I confess that since my mom died, I've been a bit more detached than usual. I've been doing my 365s but forgetting to upload them. I have been uploading them in spurts. But I'm still doing them! That's a great thing. Yay for follow through for a change. I've already hit the 100 days left mark. They will be posted in the next round of twenty.

We are getting ready for a trip to Florida and New Orleans courtesy of my eldest sister. We joke that she only bothered to pay for OUR tickets so we could accompany Alex to visit, for it's him she really wants to see. It's our ten-year anniversary this year, and we will be renewing our vows by the water in Pensacola. She will be driving us to New Orleans to celebrate Dan's birthday too. Yay! Our first real vacation together! We didn't even have a honeymoon. So this is a big deal!

On top of that, I wasn't planning on attending the ORS's retreat this year for lack of funds for indulgent things, but someone was kind enough to pay my way. So I am going after all. I will be the lady's Abigail, aka Lady in Waiting. So I do get a little bit of fun! In spite of receiving a little inheritance from mom, we have been relegating it towards paying off all of our bills (it is astounding how much money we owe in medical expenses. Seriuosly America needs to get its shit together, this could bankrupt people. If it weren't for mom's money, I have no idea what we'd do).  We also replaced the aging and deteriorating Dodge, and getting a new roof, which as of this spring, with its leaks, became a priority issue.  Yay for pragmatism... even if it means you don't get a great deal of you-time.

241/365 - Tiles

242/365 - The first big rain in weeks. It was so nice. It's dry again now,
but hopefully the Oregon rains will soon return.  I'm a pluviophile. 

243/365 - Selfies

244/365 - Some antiquing with my sister. She was in town for a job interview.

 My sister took a shot and interviewed for the Environmental Manager for Intel here in Oregon. She got the job! She is moving back, I am SOOOooo excited. She is too. She will be close to her nephew and possibly living with us for a while. We may even venture into buying a property together down the line.

245/365 - Seeing Auntie Neenee off at PDX

246/365 - bribery material

247/365 - Super sized measurements

248/365 - Bubbles

249/365 - more bubbles for the boy. He likes his baths.

250/365 - A miniature meal

251/365 - Watching Robots

So my goal has been to complete rewrites on my latest novel. I'd like it to be released in February for Wizard World Comic Con.

252/365 - Plaid

253/365 - Fort Alexander in harsh light

254/365 - My new wheels. A necessary
purchase. I do love the Kia.

255/365 - My table at the Passion in Portland book signing event. Do
you recognize the little dollie? :)

 I sold more books at the Romance event than I'd anticipated. I feel somewhat out of place amongst the romance novelists. There's a pretty broad spectrum of romance styles in this group. I barely fit the archetype since romance is not the main theme of my stories, it's more of a byline. But there was interest. I got lots of people signing up for my mailing list and lots of interest in my Coming Soon for the new title "A Problem of Ghosts". Encouraging!

256/365 - The fairies recently paved
their walk.  Their little door looks
worse for wear. Must be from all those
little chipmunk visitors rapping on the wood.

257/365 - Citron

258/365 - Some mother/son silliness.

259/365 - The old man's beard only needs one good rain
to explode all over the place.

260/365 - The last of the hydrangea - I
found these on a house I was looking at in
Sellwood for my sister.

The autumn has arrived. Although it's dry and sunny the days are so much more tolerable. Much like the Indian Summers of the east. I'm waiting for the weeks of grey and lushness. That is when I'm happiest.

Elections are drawing near. The vitriol is flying on FaceBook and as usual, I'm the biggest troll of them all. BAHAHAHAHA. Who are you voting for? If it's not for Bernie, I don't want to know. Register democrat, and vote for Bernie! <3 p="">

The first sticker on my new wheels. :D

Less with the craft, more with the opinion.

I am just a little wearied by the complaints of persecution coming from people who have no idea what persecution is. Especially since most Christian religion permeates our culture in every way, and yet any criticism at all is chalked up as persecution.  Put down the crosses people. Nobody is forcing you to drag them around, and nobody is putting a crown of thorns on your heads. You just need to exercise more tolerance of other religions, or people that do not practice religion at all.  Understanding the root of secularist practices publicly funded projects is a start. Staying out of peoples' love lives, and keeping your dogma out of public schools would also be good.

An outright hungarican rant.

The struggle to keep from falling.

I’m going to go off on a topic right now that might not be everyone’s favourite, but I have been growing increasingly depressed by the attitudes that are flying around in the US right now, and I really need to get this off my chest.  You see, I am a middle class mom.  I am not working right now. At this point, seeing there are no decent jobs to be had, I would be working a low-pay job just to pay for my child to attend a sub-par day care. There was no maternity leave for me to fall back on.  There was nothing. So the whole idea is a wash. Until we can come up with another solution, I am not going to be doing any job except taking care of my son. And the burden of our household will rest on my husband’s shoulders.

We are struggling. We are both in our 40s and we have nothing saved. When times were good, and we were able to make ends meet, we were paying off the debts from the previous years.  We have never been able to get ahead.  When I got pregnant and very sick, there was a two-month period where we had no health insurance, but it was just enough time to rack up several thousand dollars in medical bills, which we've mostly paid off by drawing down my 401K from my previous job. So essentially, we only have the equity in our home (thank goodness I bought before the bubble, so we’re not upside down like so many people are), and that’s it.  Every month is a tight situation. We are always on the edge of the cliff, and it is usually small graces that keep us afloat at all.  We both work very hard. We do the responsible thing. We bust our asses. Dan drives 120 miles a day just in a commute. We pay our dues. We are not struggling because we are making bad decisions. We are not struggling because we are not hard workers. We are struggling because the economy is constructing itself in a way that is making it nearly impossible for us to get on our feet and start preparing for retirement. It's as simple as that.

We do not take any benefits from the government; we would probably be ‘too well off’ to qualify anyway, in spite of sometimes not having enough money to get essentials.  The only time Dan collected unemployment was when he was laid off from his job of ten years, and it took him one and a half years to find another job; falling down the income ladder significantly. His time on unemployment was spent applying for jobs. Filling out hundreds of applications and attending interviews if it ever got to that point. The binder he kept to prove his job-hunting to the unemployment office ended up being so thick, it didn't fit in the file box.  He applied for every job he could find that would cover his basic bills. He was competing with sometimes as many as 800 other applicants for the same job. He eventually found work. You have to take whatever is offered when you are on unemployment. There is no picking and choosing, and if you don't want that job, you lose benefits. So abusing unemployment isn't really easy.

He worked his way slowly back up the income ladder over the next few years, and then got a great job in the wind industry, where we were finally able to make ends meet. Seven years with the company, and boom… another layoff! And guess what? That income level was knocked all the way back down again, because jobs like that are not easy to find.  He has been grinding away trying to find work to bring him back to that income level. And he hasn't reached that level again yet, since 2010.  He also had to change jobs because he didn't have health insurance, and I was pregnant and not having an easy pregnancy. Our debts and expenses did not vary to match the change in income, which at one point went down to one third of what it was. Those still remain even today, looming over our heads like the sword of Damocles.

So we are right there at that threshold where the middle class starts to slip into poverty levels. We aren't quite there yet, but we are close.  And with each passing year, and with the current political climate, things don’t look like there going to get much better.  Last year, when we had no health insurance, we tried four times with four different companies to buy it ourselves, and we were declined four times for different reasons, one being I was pregnant, which is a pre-existing condition.  Now that ACA/”Obamacare” exists, they can’t do that shit to people any  more.  If Dan hadn't been able to find that job with health insurance, we would have been fucked.  We would have had a $25,000 medical bill for the birth of my child, not to mention all the follow up appointments for his vaccinations and his care.  This time, if he lost his job for any reason, we would have that option to find affordable care and have that safety net so we don’t end up being bankrupted by medical bills.

We don’t collect food stamps or public funds, but I know a couple of people that do. One of those persons is a woman who works full time and has three kids and is married. Both people work, but their jobs just don’t pay very much.  Not enough to pay bills and keep the kids fed and clothed. They are not lazy, they both work very hard. Neither of their jobs offer insurance of any kind. They in fact both keep them just below the full-time threshold so they don't have to provide any benefits by law, and so the couple, in spite of working crappy jobs and managing their household, has to rely on public funds to keep themselves afloat.  They are not lazy. They are not stupid. They are perhaps demoralized and feel powerless as prices go up and they just seem to go nowhere.

And that is the crux of it.  Demoralization. When people like them, struggle their asses off to make ends meet, and have to suck up their pride and apply to get food stamps, and then they hear people they know, and people on TV, call them ‘takers’ and ‘lazy’ and ‘unmotivated’ and ‘poor’ as if they are somehow responsible for this situation; well, it's hard not to be downtrodden when your own country shits on you for falling into a pit the country itself created.

The Vilification of the financially challenged.

The truth of the situation is this: the mythical Welfare Queen, where this whole ‘lazy taker’ mythos came from was an invention of the Reagan administration.  The truth is, and these are statistics taken from the US Dept or Labor statistics website, based on the 2012 IPIA 3-Year average data report, fraud was prevalent in 2.67% of cases.

The greater majority of welfare users are not black, low-income people living off the fat of the land. In fact, the greater majority of welfare recipients are white. And they are on welfare for an average of 2 years before they are able to rejoin the workforce and support themselves again. That is just the way it is.   The anecdotal story of the minority family living off of welfare for 20 years is largely a myth. The stories about people using their welfare and food stamps to buy brand-names and have their weaves put in is just a Fox News construction made to fire up the base to keep them voting republican. That is a sad, sad (and so damned racist) fact.

Also another misconception that Fox News tries to sell is that food stamp recipients are lazy. Almost 30% of households receiving food stamps are working households.  Many recipients are also Senior Citizens, and even more tragically, US Veterans who haven’t had it hard enough as it is, I guess.

So here I am, slipping into a place where pride and dignity get chucked onto the wayside, and you become the ridicule of the people who have been just a bit luckier.  And I get really angry when I see the ridicule.

The truth is, this country could do a great deal better for its people. And this ‘I've got mine so fuck you’ attitude that is oddly, coming mainly from the right, is so short-sighted and self-destructive and I cannot believe that these people cannot even see the error of their own ways, even for the sake of self preservation.  In their quest to scrabble to a place where they can look down and ‘haw-haw’ on others, they are shooting themselves in the foot. And they are so consumed by resentment and bitterness and selfishness, they cannot even see it.

The sad reality is that all this finger pointing, all this name calling, all this vilification and belittling of the ‘poor’ is just a means for someone to feel less guilty about being completely selfish. It’s as simple as that. It is a justification for self-absorption.  It is a way of avoiding taking any responsibility for the society that sustains you. It is deflection. It is hoping that nobody will see your very deep and terrible flaws if you just say that someone is worse than you.

You see, not everybody is going to be lucky forever, and not everybody is going to have things work their way. The truth is, every single person save for a tiny percentage of our society (and that’s even questionable), is just one step away from oblivion, and to arrogantly stand inside one’s cookie cutter house, filled to the brim with credit-purchased toys and gadgets and point at people who live humbly, or people who have struggled and that have a hard time and to call them lazy and takers because they are in a crappy situation is just absolutely despicable.  And it is hubris.

The hypocrites

I have a relative who was in the military and after being discharged worked without a problem for many years. Apparently she had a traumatic experience while in service; and nothing was done about it. She has had PTSD from it. Then she got fired from her job. Then, she saw an news article where they were discussing how the government has been awarding SSI for PTSD in record numbers, so she applied, and with her diagnosis, got 60% benefits. She also enjoys ‘vocational rehab’ which means the government is also paying for her to go to school.  Now I am not arguing whether or not she should have these benefits. My issue of contention is that she is one of the people who posts stuff on Facebook about lazy takers.  For someone who had a job competently up until she got SSI, she sure has a lot of gall to sit there in judgment of anyone and say they are lazy. It’s all a matter of perspective. She doesn't know their story, who is she to sit there and assume that nobody else has a good a reason to justify taking public funds, except her? Who is she?  That rattles my cage tremendously. 

That’s the problem.  Every homeowner in this country gets welfare. It’s called the ‘real estate tax deduction’. Their kids attend public schools. They drive public roads. They are protected by a public police force. Their bodies are protected from harmful toxins and chemicals being released into the environment by a public agency that regulates these things. They use publicly built electrical grids to power their homes. They type out their hateful Facebook posts on an internet the public built.  Everybody enjoys the benefits of public funds. How is it that when people are in trouble, their asking for help is somehow different? How is it that it is okay to vilify and shit on the poor people because they are having a difficult time? How is it their fault, or their bad decisions? Do the rest of the people not make bad decisions? Of course they do.  And worst of all, how can the same people who scream and shout that the ‘lazy people’ and immigrants are taking their resources, and that’s the reason this country is going to hell, take advantage of those same services and be justified in doing so? It’s like the Oregon Timber industry crying out for their timber payments, when the same people decry government intervention. Isn’t the American way to figure out how to succeed without government assistance? Why is that suddenly a problem for you?  It’s like the farmers voting republican, but taking billions in subsidies and tax deductions from the government. It’s like the Duggars, who have their house registered as a church, so the whole clan can exist without paying a dime in taxes while they clog up our airtime with their utter non-relevance.

My step-father in law sits in front of Fox News all day, parroting the unbelievable misinformation day in and day out. The irony is, he is retired very comfortably on his union pension and his social security. He gets raises when the still-working people in his previous employment get raises. And yet here he is, crooning the Republican mantras, voting for people who want to abolish unions and cut social security.  It is a very sad, sad thing to see.

Selfishness is an acceptable state of being in this country. In fact, it’s promoted and encouraged as the way Americans should be.  If you don’t do well, it’s just something you must be doing. It’s your fault. You are a lazy loser and you deserve what you get. That’s the prevailing attitude of the right, and that is as awful and ridiculous as it sounds.

Whining liberals, righteous conservatives.

Being a good, compassionate, caring person is a bad thing in America. Anywhere else, it is a laudable goal to work towards.  There is a strange, weird selective blindness among many American Christians to the reality that many of their own exercise this attitude while claiming to follow Christ’s teachings.  The same people that say this; that cling to their religion and claim righteousness, are the very same people that admonish the poor, that vote against their own interests, promote intolerance of homosexuality and the degradation of women.  They are in essence, the least Christ-like.  Liberalism has become a bad word. But if you read the basic definition, it sounds very much what being an American is supposed to mean:

lib·er·al  [lib-er-uhl, lib-ruhl]  adjective1. favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs. 2. noting or pertaining to a political party advocating measures of progressive political reform. 3. of, pertaining to, based on, or advocating liberalism, especially the freedom of the individual and governmental guarantees of individual rights and liberties. 4. favorable to or in accord with concepts of maximum individual freedom possible, especially as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties. 5. favoring or permitting freedom of action, especially with respect to matters of personal belief or expression: a liberal policy toward dissident artists and writers

However, someone came along and decided that being a liberal is a weakness. As if being a human being that cares about others is somehow a terrible, undesirable state of being. As if desiring change and progress is a crime. As if wanting a better world for your children is the worst possible thing a human being can desire.   Instead, the idea of being selfish, being uncaring, taking no responsibility for anything except for yourself is somehow the commendable choice.  To be a conservative is to be strong and bold. To be successful. That is the idea they seem to cling to. But in all truth, to be conservative is to be selfish and insular. To be conservative is to claim a love for freedom, and to decry the government and government control—except when you want to impose your ideologies on others, of course.  To be conservative is, ultimately, to be a bully. A cowardly, wholly self-absorbed, willfully ignorant delusional bully. The sad psychology behind this is that conservatives want to have the image of a big truck driving, gun toting, freedom loving every-man—they strive to make it to that hallowed pedestal of the 1%, but likely never will. They believe that success is their doing only. That people who are not successful didn't try as hard as they did when in all truth their success is created on the backs of others, on the framework the liberals of society pushed for, and sometimes on blind luck. They foster their ideologies by surrounding themselves with material wants, and they shout and scream with all their bluster against the anyone that might have different ideals. But ultimately it is a colossal sense of powerlessness and fear that drives them. Change is bad. Intellectualism is bad. Progress is bad. Compassion is bad. All the qualities that make us so irrevocably human… bad. 

Socialism bad. We don’t wanna live like Europeans

Many Americans cannot stretch their imaginations beyond the US borders. In fact, for most folks, it hardly surpasses their own states and cities.  But there is ::gasp:: a whole world out there. Countries filled with people. Countries much older than the USA. Countries that have had ups and downs and ins and outs much more than the fledgling nation with the big ego.  A lot of people go through life thinking that the USA is so great and so grand and so amaze-balls, that it really has nothing to learn from other nations.  Americans cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to live a little more responsibly. They see that as oppression. As … Yes, I’m gonna say it… SOCIALISM!!  DUN DUN DUUUUNNN.

Most republicans don’t really understand what socialism is or anything else that is foreign. And they cling to the occasional anecdote they heard from a friend of a friend to basically define their entire attitude about it. But the truth is, socialist programs are pervasive throughout the world in varying degrees, including in America. And the only countries where there is the most oppression are not among the ones providing successful social programming as a framework to eradicate poverty and improve the quality of life. 

You see, in Europe, there are still plenty of douchebags driving around in large vehicles and living in tacky big houses. There’s no shortage of conservative idiots. But alongside those parallels with the US, there are things like universal medicine for all. Not perfect by any means, but definitely better than what is happening here in the US. Many folks say: Oh, why do we need to change anything? I have insurance and I like it just fine. Well… 1) Sorry, but it’s not all about you. And 2) just because it doesn't affect you doesn't mean it isn't happening to everyone else. Try and step out of your selfish little me-bubble and look around once in a while.  Having to wait a bit in a waiting room, or share a hospital room (if you don’t want to pay extra) seems a reasonable price to pay for me, so that other people who couldn't have access to care normally, finally could. You see, I don’t think health care should be like tacky McMansions. It should not be something that only a certain income bracket can afford to have.  And if you do believe that, then you are a shitty person. That is just the plain truth. And a shitty Christian if you are one of those.

Working parents have access to sliding-scale day cares for children in Europe. School is free, and it’s high-quality and it creates well-educated products.  College is available to anyone that wants to go in most countries. Police and fire and emergency services are free. Yes, you have to pay for it. But it seems to me that I would rather live in a world where municipal services actually respond and are decently paid, where an ambulance ride doesn't mean I have to take a second loan out on my home, and where there are enough resources to keep the peace.

Some countries still have doctors that make house calls.  Pharmacy purchases are negligible if not free. These are not entitlements, these are resources that the society agreed to pay together. And if there is a minority that doesn't want to play along, well, too bad. You have to pay taxes. It’s what grow-ups do.  If people are in crisis, there are places to go to get help. To get job training. To get food assistance. To get unemployment benefits until you can find work. There are systems in place to make sure these resources are not squandered on the occasional abuser.  Again, nobody expects perfection. That’s impossible when human beings are involved. There are dicks everywhere you go and they like to do dicky things. But you find ways to work around them so everyone else who isn't a dick can keep going along.

Homogenous nations – what a pile of bullshit

My eldest brother offered me the argument one day that: “Europe is a lot more homogeneous, and that’s why that stuff works there. The US is not, so it wouldn't work here.”  Well… sorry Bro, but that is 100% bullshit.  Anyone who has lived in Europe knows Europe is ANYTHING BUT homogeneous.  You drive two to three hours and you can enter a different culture. Each country in Europe has hordes of minority groups. They have massive groups of Muslims and the Sharia crap to deal with, they have African émigrés, they have all sorts of cultural upheaval every day, and they also have a much more proactive political state, where riots are not like occupy where people sit and get sprayed in the face by douchebag cops, they throw Molotov cocktails and cops have to wear riot gear not for appearances, but because the rioters mean business. That rarely happens in the US.  Politics are always in flux in Europe. So do not say Europe is a jug of fucking homogenized milk. It is vodka, a layer of apple liqueur, whiskey, beer and ten thousand varieties of wine. Don't get me started on the cheeses.

The US on the other hand, well, the only way you can tell you've gone from one state to the next is the geography and the accent.  It's McDonalds and coke and yellow cheese food. Talk about homogenized. Please. So don’t use the adage that America is too diverse for universal change. That’s just crap. The truth is, people just need to decide to change and just do it. The curmudgeons can hide in their homes and peer out from between their blinds and mumble and grumble to their heart’s content, but they will have to embrace that change too eventually. Don’t say it can’t happen. Just look at the New Deal and tell me it can’t happen.  That is a closed-minded, narrow mindset.  Change is good. It is what made America so damned great once upon a time. Innovation, progress… we used to be the masters of that stuff. Now, we’re importing our doctors from India while our schools produce students that can barely spell and cannot figure out the difference between their, there and they’re.

So stop with the hate and the vitriol against others.

I say enough. Enough of the name calling and the finger pointing, it will not stop the world from seeing your own failures.  Enough hatred against people who live differently than you.  Enough pushing your ideologies into the face of people who really want nothing to do with it.  Enough bawling about ridiculous things while the rest of the world implodes around you.  There are places outside of your own little circle, and people that matter that aren't you. Enough belittling and degrading of women. Enough imposing of your ideologies on the bodies of women.  Enough digging for reasons to hate someone because you don’t want anyone to see the real reason you do. Enough hiding behind your religion to judge and oppress others.  Enough crying persecution because someone criticized you.  The world isn't all about you. It does not revolve around your beliefs or your ideologies. It does not have to follow your personal rules to make things convenient for you.  If you want to live selfishly, then own up to living selfishly and stop turning blame onto others.  If you want to be a dick, then at least take responsibility for being a dick. Take responsibility for the reasons you feel so compelled to direct so much of your vitriol and hatred onto people you know absolutely nothing about, and understand that your reasons for being a taker are not better than any one else's reasons. Enough.  Enough. Enough.

And in conclusion of my rant, something profound from TV. I've never seen this show, but I would like to after seeing this clip.