I’ve had it with Tone Bullies. Well, one Tone Bully in
particular—who I thought had been blocked but whose inexplicable return came
with the inevitable negative encounter.
You see, Facebook is rife with these people. The embittered,
mean-spirited, hyper sensitive narcissists, who view every post and every
comment as something invariably about them; as something about their issues.
This one in is a particularly volatile example. I know her through the ORS. She
made a brief appearance in the group. It wasn’t brief enough. Armed with an
arsenal of bad seamstressing, personal issues and dietary and medical problems,
every event she attended became something about her stomach, her health or her
personal offense. She left one of our retreats early because she felt ‘unwelcome’.
Stop the world! Nobody likes me! (Probably because you’re a whining asshole—FYI)
My first encounter with her is also documented in this blog
somewhere. Unknown to me, a friend of mine posted a humourous meme or movie or
something that laughingly mocked vegans. This person, (who I will dub henceforth
as ‘Balding Pink Haired PigFace McEverythingsAboutMe’ or BPHPFMcEAM), being
dietarily ‘sensitive’ (but also being as overweight as me if not more—obviously
not *so* sensitive that she can’t eat like a Roman in a vomitorium), posted a
bully missive that made my friend feel compelled to remove the post. She made a
comment about having to do so, and that raised my hackles.
I. Hate. Bullies. HATE THEM. So I replied to the comment
telling my friend that she should have not removed her post, that it was her
wall, and that it isn’t up to someone else to tell her what should and should
not be there. If that person is offended, that’s their fucking problem.
Now let me interject something here… A few weeks ago,
someone posted a meme that was basically a statement about white men being more
respectable than black men, simply by the way they dress; the meme showed black
guys with droopy pants and flat-billed caps, next to a photo of a couple of
white bros in suits and ties. Now that meme was stupid and flat out racist.
There was no ambiguity, no lack of clarity; it was racist. And I told that
person that it was. I also told them that there was no shortage of white guys
running around with droopy pants and douchey flat-billed caps. However there’s a stark difference between a
full-on racial commentary and a meme making fun of vegans. Vegans are not a culture of people being
marginalized by society. They’re vegans.
So there’s a fine line here. The issue here is that this
post by my dear friend was not about BPHPFMcEAM. But to her it was, you see,
because SHE had dietary issues, and that would be offensive to people with
dietary issues and blahdefuckingblah. I got into a fray with her, in which she
did what apparently must be habit for her, she made some comment and then
blocked me so that I could neither see it or respond to it further. No big
deal, good riddance, yes, it’s cowardly to shout something before slamming the
door, but I am used to the ‘attack then retreat’ tactic, my narcissistic mom
did it all the time.
Life was quieter without evidence of BPHPFMcEAM’s existence
for quite some time. But I noticed her name and the image of her pig-face popping
up again on another friend’s profile under comments. I ignored her. But
invariably, because she doesn’t like me, she found a reason to start her Tone
Bullying again. This time, she hijacked this other friend’s post about the
hyper-masculinizationß(not
sure if actual word) of mens’ products.
It was a fake ad for ‘manpons’. It was funny. Funny as shit. Here it is:
Yes. It’s funny, and it’s totally true, the ads would
TOTALLY be like that. Anyhow, I made the
comment beneath that, seeing as most men are total babies when it comes to pain
in comparison to women, if they had a period, they’d more likely spend it
curled up into the fetal position whining for a week. And sound the horns, the TONE POLICE came a-ridin’
in on a Special My Little Pony Lolita Unicorn.
You see, apparently because she has a trans partner or
friend, this was suddenly about the Trans community and my comment was
horrendously offensive to them. I was dismissing trans men who DO suffer from
periods, you see. I was erasing their
pain by making fun of guys being weenies about being in pain or sick.
I asked her to not turn the content of the thread into
something else. But she continued on,
dropping a litany of inane and boring buzzwords and yammering on about how this
was INDEED about what she wanted it to be. When I responded the last time, saying
that her response had nothing to do with anything other than the male gender
born with male bits, and that trans men could not be included simply by the
fact that they experienced the heartbreak of menstruation. And in true form, she
posted a response I could not see because she immediately blocked me.
The above video, and the commentary about men being weenies
about pain became something about this unfortunate woman. I cannot begin to
imagine what it would be like to look at everything with her eyes. Seeing
offense where there is none; digging for maliciousness where there never was
any. But the part that chaps my ass the most is the active desire to hijack
someone’s feed and turn it into something about themselves. Every shred of
opportunity, people like this latch onto it and whine and flail until someone
notices them. Everyone deserves
consideration and kindness, but going about like some embittered, angry fool,
trying to force everyone’s narrative into something that doesn’t offend your
overly sensitive viewpoint, well that’s just plain bullying.
There are lots of other things that prove that this person
is just generally an angry, nasty person in general, and who projects a great
deal of her shortcomings on people. She didn’t last long in the group because
of it. She blamed all of us for it, naturally, rather than her own social deficiencies.
I am kind to everyone. Always. But when they try to make me out to be something
I’m not, that’s when my kindness goes away. That’s when I stop giving a shit
about their overly sensitive nature. And when they start hijacking threads, and
bullying people into removing posts because they want the attention drawn to
themselves, then that’s when I just call them out for what they are.
And since I have been blocked in a cowardly manner from
saying so…. I will call this person out for what she is. She is a loser. An
attention whore. A mean spirited, tone bully. A sour, pig faced, cow with
shoddy costumes that no amount of pink Lolita wigs and bows will cure. And no
amount of spouting PCness will change that. You don’t get social-credit points
for fighting the acceptance fight where there is no battle. You don’t get to be
sanctimonious and self-righteous because you have dietary issues; contrived or
real, or because you are married to a trans partner. These things don’t make
you a better, more accepting person. The fact that you can’t view a
conversation of any kind unless you see it through your defensive lens makes
you a non-accepting person. The fact that you can’t let people have a good
laugh, or an opinion that is benign and NOT ABOUT YOU IN ANY WAY, without
making it so, means you’re a bully. A nasty, ugly bully. And you think that by defending the cause du
jour (where no defense is required) will absolve you of that, well that’s
deluded and pathetic.
Reflect on yourself, you sad human being. Don’t let a cause
define you and make you bitter. I will not calculate my words, restrict my
sense of humour, edit my postings, to keep from offending you. I know I’m a
good person. I KNOW I am. I am not without flaws, which I often own, and some I
deny… but I am not overtly mean, racist, intolerant, bigoted or cruel. I’m
snarky, yes. I own that. I’m blunt, and forthright. And I will call people out
on their shit. But I don’t like to be called out for shit when there is none. I
won’t tolerate that.
You are not the
decider of my character based on your own twisted standards—turning benign
words into bad ones because it suits you. You can see me any way you want to
see me, but don’t you dare tell me how I should speak, try to censor or control
my speech or correct me. Unless I am overtly condemning trans people, or saying
that all vegans should be put into death camps, you have nothing to say. If you don’t like me, keep your stupid words to
yourself. But don’t paint me into the person you want me to be because you’re a
nasty, insecure, obnoxious, self-righteous, sanctimonious bitch. And if you
want me to be offensive to you, here it is, you pig faced ugly cow. Now you can
go cry what a terrible person I am. Asshole.
God I can't stand that idiot. She didn't even deserve the politness she got when she was around.
End of ranting session. TYVM