Resolutions? Oh crud.

I am not a resolutions kind of woman. Never have been. Once in a while I would set a goal, but other things always took precedence. I distinctly recall as a child writing in my diary in the upper corner of the page every day how much I weighed, and how much I hoped to lose. The thing was, I didn’t have a weight problem at all then; I had a really bad body-image then. My weight never really changed, of course, so I stopped tracking it after a bit… and also stopped writing in my diary too. I wonder what happened to it?

Now I really have a reason to write my weight on the top-corner of that proverbial page. I gained a ton of weight when I was 20, when we moved back to the United States. It was pure culture shock for me, and I had left everything behind, friends, familiarity, and my horses… my whole life. I just fell into a really horrible depression and blew up 40 lbs in something ridiculous like 4 months or something, and just kept plumping up after that. And I’ve had a heck of a time managing it since.

It’s annoying to think that I never really was fat; and that I should have felt good about myself when I was busy being critical of every curve. I had a nice body… an hourglass body, nothing to be ashamed of. For a while, I was kind of a hottie. Now I want it back, damn it! I want to feel good about myself! At 37, it’s probably too late to hope for hotness again. Heck, I’d settle for size 14 and being able to cross my legs comfortably again. ::smirk::

Then I heard a little thing on NPR about New Year’s resolution—and that 40% of people who make them, achieve them. That’s significant. What’s more, they said that people who declare their goals are more likely to follow through because they’ve established a benchmark and told the world they’re going to work on it. They’ve made themselves accountable.

So what the hell. I’m making myself accountable. Will I follow through? If I don’t then I’m one resolution down already. Here’s my list. Some are easy, some are not. But they’re not impossible. They did stress on the NPR show that you should set manageable goals… I didn’t say “Lose 50lbs”… I just said lose weight…

We shall see. :)