A reality check

Just a heads up to all you ordinary (and sometimes goofy looking) guys out there... here's a little brush of reality for your day:

This:

is not gonna happen to a guy like this:

Unless he has tons of this:

But the truth is, that if you have tons of this:

And you look like this:

The reality would be this:

Which might be worth it for some.

What you should really be looking at, fellas is this:

But hey, but if you'd rather keep hunting for unicorns and the Holy Grail, have at it.

And ladies, FYI, this:

doesn't exist either.