|Another Father's Day without|
Daddy. :( I miss you papa.
“The kid we have, her mother believes in Buddha. I don’t know anything about Buddha. She might freak out if we kill a fly because they believe that everything’s reincarnated. We go to the Sandy Assembly of Christ (or whatever), we don’t believe in any of that stuff, should we not take her?” SHE IS EFFING TWO! WHO CARES??? They turn EVERYTHING into something about their foster case and waste everyone’s time. It’s so annoying. We could get so much out of this session; our trainer is wonderful, if it weren’t for Mr. and Mrs. Moron. I don’t even know how to broach it with the trainer because she’s so nice and indulges them.
This class is made up mostly of foster-parents, there are only two couples there that are really interested in adoption (oh, the moron-couple *might* adopt their Buddhist two-year old if the parents don’t shape up). Most of the fosters there are relatives. A set of grandparents in their seventies, a man who said: “I’m here because I have a stupid brother”, while his wife tenderly cradled an infant girl... there is also a lady whose son’s best friend has nowhere to go and hasn’t lived with his parents since he was three. Lots of sad stories.
Some sad facts from the class: the majority of abuse (markings and bruises) cases that are opened in Oregon are for infants. Neglect and abuse cases are predominantly due to drug problems with the parents (Methamphetamines are a huge problem out here). Oregon instituted a law that allows people who do not want their kids to walk into a hospital or police station and hand the child off without recrimination. We discovered, and I did not know this, that when a child is taken away from a parent, the parent has to pay the State child-support. That’s why most people don’t want the state to take their children. They don’t necessarily want to keep their kids out of the foster-system; they just don’t want to be responsible for paying child-support, getting into arrears and having their income garnished. Kids are also ‘cash-cows’ and having kids entitles people to all sorts of state services and support they wouldn’t get if they didn’t have kids. So parents fight pretty hard to keep kids they don’t really want so they can continue to be lazy, useless wastes of space living off of the system and breeding indiscriminately. It’s hard to find empathy for people who look at children as a means for contributing nothing to society. Especially when people like me are tripping over themselves to have a child, and they abuse the privilege they’ve been given.
::steps off soap box::
This is a tough process. I drove home after the first session crying. There are SO many kids in the system with no stability, no sense of permanence, with the desire to be loved unconditionally, to be given a chance, to be valued by someone. And there are so few people out there with room or finances, or patience to help them. It makes me want to take more than one, but we have such a small house and we are always struggling financially. We’ll see how it all pans out.
On the weight watcher’s front... I have reached 18 pounds. I can’t believe I’m so close to the 20-pound milestone. I still don’t really *see* the weight loss on me, but it’s definitely there. Case and point... I got Matilda (my dress form) back, and when I measured myself to adjust her to my size, I realized that I’d lost a few inches (three inches) pretty much everywhere since I last adjusted her. The scale isn’t lying to me, but it sure feels like it. It’s slow but it’s moving along. Hubby is at 39 pounds (probably 40 by tomorrow). He is shrinking away, his clothes bagging on him quite ungracefully. He is fabulous, I am so proud of him. I wouldn’t be successful in this if it weren’t for his example. A lot of people drop out of the program because they have unsupportive family and friends who want to enable them to fail so they don’t have to feel accountable for themselves. We are lucky we are doing this together and that’s probably why it’s working so well. It took me two months to get on board and to do the program instead of pretending along with him, but once I saw his discipline and his results, I would be stupid to not at least *try*. Especially with a program that promotes a healthy, slow weight loss rather than fast results with no long-term ‘training’ on how to eat well. When I did the Atkins diet, I lost over 45 pounds in a few months, but when I stopped eating bacon for snack-time and went back to a ‘normal’ diet, I gained it all back and then some.
The Lupron injections are continuing. I had my third one last week. I’ve tempered out a lot though since the first injection. That first month I had a whole lot of crazy going on, it was like all my emotions had been run though a distiller or something. But it’s been a lot closer to normal since, with the occasional bout of tears whenever I see a puppy on TV or something. The hot flashes have slowed down a bit, but they are still happening, but mostly at night. One benefit is that I haven’t cycled since my first injection. It’s like a vacation.
I’ve been sewing myself a new costume. I’m going to make something marginally adjustable so if I continue to lose weight, it will still fit me. I need to figure something out for my stays though, because they close all the way now, and in another month, they will be useless if I keep dropping pounds. This is particularly annoying because stays are a lot of work and I *just* made these ones, it was one of my last sewing projects before I stopped sewing for a year. I made myself a new hand-sewn mob-cap out of organdy, and I have a new hat for summer. It’s so nice to be able to focus on costumes for me for a change. I’ve even resolved to hand-sew this gown, which I’ve started the bodice for. My stiches aren’t necessarily pretty, but hopefully they’ll mostly be hidden. Hand sewing is really relaxing. I haven’t given up using my machine completely, mind you, but it’s easier to lie in bed and watch TV with a needle and thread than it is with a Husqvarna Viking balanced on your lap (or more realistically, it’s more comfortable than being hunched in a chair, squinting over your sewing).
Here are some tiny baby pigs.
|::gazes at you impassively:: o_o|