No, things have not been going too peachily for me these last few days—as you might have surmised. I’m in a state of fugue… I feel like I do when I lose someone close to me; as if the world has pulled back into a surreal grey mask, and only the ugly things catch the corner of my eye. I’m trying to keep positive, and trying to be hopeful; trying to not let the cloud enshroud me. It’s not easy—especially when my brain chemistry is suited for moments exactly like these; and really, really wants to just run with the depression. It’s a battle just to get out of bed and function; a struggle just to focus on basic things.
My marriage is crumbling. I’m trying my very hardest to look beyond the mistakes, and to be forgiving. I’m trying. My heart is broken—and worse… my trust has been betrayed; and that’s a tough one to get back. What I do have is the tremendous love I feel for my spouse; I hope that it is enough.
My marriage is crumbling. I’m trying my very hardest to look beyond the mistakes, and to be forgiving. I’m trying. My heart is broken—and worse… my trust has been betrayed; and that’s a tough one to get back. What I do have is the tremendous love I feel for my spouse; I hope that it is enough.
2 comments:
I'm here for you :-(
I'm sorry you are going through this. Hang on to the love you feel but don't be blinded by it. The temptation to give in to depression is powerful, but you can be more powerful. The fact you are able to blog shows that you have the inner strength to do what you need to do - and to face whatever is to be faced.
I wish you all the very best and I hope that you find the coming days easier. Please keep blogging if that helps, too.
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