Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Shut your bearded piehole Billy Mays.

Okay, this is out of character for me... Okay, not really, but still, I am just annoyed by Billy Mays. Who in their right mind would want to buy a product simply because someone screams at them to do so? Do they really think his incessant screaming is just the incentive consumers need to make them pick up the phone? I think, at least for me, it has the opposite effect; the longer I am exposed to him, the more I am consumed with rage against his obnoxious loudness and his junky, cluttery, low-quality consumer product.

I mean really... who hires this guy? The National Society of American Advertising Sadists? Why do they insist on inflicting him on viewers? It's just cruel. The man only has one volume... deafening. I feel sorry for his wife and family being forced to hear that man day in and day out--they must have to buy many earplugs just to maintian their sanity....

...OR... what if they all scream the same way? Maybe the whole family just goes around shouting everything they say...

Hm. I can picture them now, all of them wearing embroidered-logo polos, with dyed beards (even the the little Sally Mays), sitting around a dining room table that was polished with Orange-Glow.

"HEY MOM CAN YOU PLEASE PASS THE BUTTER,?"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY SWEETHEART? SORRY I DIDN'T HEAR THAT CAN YOU SPEAK UP?"
"MOM! COULD YOU PLEASE PASS THE BUTTER?"
"OKAY SWEETIE!"

2 comments:

Liz said...

Ugh... amen to this. I cant stand to hear that man's voice reverberate around my house. So annoying.

Hungarican Chick said...

I've been shouted at to take this post down now that Billy Mays is in the great Screamatorium in the Sky, but since he still annoyed the hell out of me in life, I don't think we have to erase all evidence of it just because he has passed away. So no, I will not take this post down. He was loud. REALLY LOUD. It's only truth.

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