Friday, April 11, 2008

The little things that could break a sane person...

  • The guy who just can’t wait for his proper turn, and instead causes flowing traffic to light up like Christmas tree in red brake lights, so he can pull in at his leisure.
  • The sour-faced, slow-moving grump in front of you with the little folder of coupons in line at the grocery store.
  • The driver in the left lane, holding up traffic for miles because they’re poking along at the same speed as the person in the right lane next to them.
  • People in public places holding cell phone conversations so loudly, that everyone is forced to partake.
  • The guy way in front of you on a largely empty road who suddenly brakes hard for no apparent reason at all except perhaps to avoid running over one of his many demons.
  • The stupid people who apply makeup or text while swerving all over the road.
  • People who spit in public.
  • Teenagers in public places, prattling on and on at top volume about the mind-numbing, inane particulars of their tiny lives, injecting ‘like’ between every other word.
  • Kids running and screaming willy-nilly in public places while mom blatantly ignores or even challenges the angry glares.
  • The person standing in front of the display case or shelf that you need to grab something from, and blocking it forever while they ponder the meaning of life and the significance of the 11¢ difference in cost.
  • Overwide SUVs parked in a standard space, making it so that you can’t open your door to get out of your car without dinging the edge of your door and marring it with their paint. ::heh heh heh::
  • People who block shopping aisles and who don’t move aside to allow others to pass.
  • People throwing garbage, cigarettes or other items from their cars.
  • People who argue about politics or other issues when they’re obviously not informed (which is pretty much all conservative voters).
  • Contrarians; people who will come up with a counterpoint to anything you say just to hear themselves talk.
  • Pollyannas; people who feel it necessary to inject the positive in any situation: “I’m sorry you got beat up and your stuff was stolen; but it’s possible that the guy who attacked you was having a really bad day, or debt collectors pushed him over the edge.. or…”
  • The kid in back of you on the plane kicking your seat (or screaming, crying, etc).
  • The guy with the midlife-crisis-mobile who takes up multiple spaces to keep his vehicle from getting scratched.
  • Teenagers employed in any customer service position. Bad idea for the business.
  • The mere existence of the following things: minivans, the flashing red lights on school buses, office retreats, life coaches, pet psychics, oversized SUVs as commuter vehicles, pretentious tech-gadgets, Bratz Dolls.
  • The “well, actually…” person; who knows it all, and is never shy to impose their vast bank of useless knowledge annoyingly onto all.

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